I have a Brain Injured son in a Nursing Home who requires 24 hour care. He has no short term memory and is confined to a wheelchair. He has been in the current home for 6 years, and I can relay to you the times they have left him sitting on the toilet (forgotten about him), and he got impatient and tried to get up himself, and finished up on the floor.

Two years ago, he was taken outside by one of the residents and left out there in a 30c heat, when I arrived at 11am, I couldn't find him, and when I eventually found him, he was found outside in the hot sun, I brought him inside immediately, gave a shower to cool him down, and a drink for dehydration.

 Once I had him settled, I then went to the manager of the Nursing Home and asked him to come have a look at him -- with some reluctance he did, but never said a thing to him. Apart from this incident in the previous weeks, my son had a big scratch down his face, a black eye, and suffered several falls off the toilet. By this stage I had had enough, and brought the Health Complaints people into it.

At the beginning of this meeting I said I had something to say before we started, and told this man I was very disappointed in him, that the least he could have done was say I'm sorry this has happened, I'll try to make sure it doesn't happen again. You'll never guess what he said to me "why should I say I'm sorry I didn't do it". Needless to say he was gone within a fortnight. Unfortunately, I believe some other Nursing Home has this person working for them now.

Just this last fortnight, I have sacked the Doctor that "has been looking after him" my son has sugar and after 6 years of his so called "looking after" he still hasn't got my son's sugar under control. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Just this week I have told both the DON (Director of Nursing) and the deputy DON that they have some very lazy and incompetent staff. I have found these experiences are having an effect on my health as well. My son recently had a very bad urinary tract infection that really knocked him about, and no matter what I tried, no one seemed to care very much. I even had to ring the Doctor up at his surgery and tell him to get his finger out and make my son better.

And guess what -- just this last fortnight I have again had to get in touch with the complaints unit and complain to them about what they (nursing home) are not doing. There is no "duty of care" any more in these places.

When I die, who looks after my son? Who speaks up for him? All he has is me, and if this is the way they treat him while I'm alive, God help him when I'm dead. He is only 46 this year, he could live to be 70. He has to live those years in a Nursing Home. It frightens the shit out of me, because there is no choice.

I don't think anything can shock me any more, because I have been involved with Nursing Homes for 10 years now. This is my son’s second Nursing Home, and nothing has improved in ten years. But mark my words -- I will continue to fight them, no matter what.

I hope I never end up in one of these places myself, I would rather top myself first.

Anonymous: Name and details supplied. [May 2005]

"...back in May, 2005 I wrote to you in response to an article you had written for the Woman's Day. My story to you was about my 46 year old son with a Brain Injury having to reside in an old persons home and the lack of "Duty of Care" that was not there, well I have to inform you, he passed away last Tuesday morning, I don't know what from, there is an autopsy being held. I am trying to keep busy and I am cleaning out all the things I was doing for and on behalf of Gary from my computer..."

Anonymous: Name and details supplied. [January 2006]

Update 2007: Aged Care Crisis have been since informed that there was an autopsy, but that the results were "inconclusive".